Classic joke thread...

[PegLeg45]

It losses something when you SEE it in print. I got a good snicker out of it 30 some odd years ago when my Dad told it. (At the local old ladies garden club )

Maybe if you think of it in a Grouch Marx voice?

[JSC3ATLCSO]

It losses something when you SEE it in print. I got a good snicker out of it 30 some odd years ago when my Dad told it. (At the local old ladies garden club )

Seems like the true essence of the thread - CLASSIC joke thread... - Maybe all of you "old dogs"  have heard this, but someone has to educate the young pups on here.

Great Joke!

[tombogan03884]

You think that ones good ?  Go back and read the other 164 pages.


CAUTION  DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DRINK BEVERAGES WHILE READING THE JOKES !!!!!!!!
unless you LIKE blowing them out your nose 

[JSC3ATLCSO]

You think that ones good ?  Go back and read the other 164 pages.


CAUTION  DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DRINK BEVERAGES WHILE READING THE JOKES !!!!!!!!
unless you LIKE blowing them out your nose 

Oh I plan to read the rest of the pages.  I have kept busy tonight at work so I'll have to do that another time. As for drinking while reading.  Back when I was still wet behind the ears (Yesterday) I worked with an older guy I honestly thought was a younger version of my grandfather.  Anyway every time we went on break I swear that he purposely waited until I took a drink before spouting off a one-liner or some other form of dry- but hilarious sense of humor that he had.  I quickly learned to -

1. Never drink anything with carbonation in it. - Fruit Juice = O.K. Water was the best though

and

2. I eventually developed a Jedi-like sense of being able to close off my throat and breath out of my nose.

This has come in quite handy now into my newly dried behind the ears years.  Much less embarassing and messy.  Also the added benifit of not rinsing the backs of your eyeballs, because at least with me, it not only shot out my nose.. it invariably back flushed my tear ducts. (double hurt) 

Definately looking forward to reading the rest of this thread though

J

[ellis4538]

A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order.  He said, 'I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and pair of running boards.'
The brand new blonde waitress,  not wanting to appear stupid,  went to the kitchen and said to the cook, 'This guy out there just ordered three flat tires,  a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.   What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?'

'No,'  the cook said.  'Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon.'

'Oh, OK!' said the blonde.


She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.

The trucker asked, 'What are the beans for, Blondie?'

I LOVE THIS ONE............

She replied, 'I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!'

FOR ONCE THE BLONDE GETS EVEN!

[Sponsor]

[Teresa Heilevang]

aaummmhmmmm  excuuuse me?
The Blond ALWAYS gets even.  ( It would be to your benefit not to ever forget that..  )

[tt11758]

aaummmhmmmm  excuuuse me?
The Blond ALWAYS gets even.  ( It would be to your benefit not to ever forget that..  )

You've proven that time and time again, Teresa.     

[Hazcat]

aaummmhmmmm  excuuuse me?
The Blond ALWAYS gets even.  ( It would be to your benefit not to ever forget that..  )

About the new avatar...Ya know if ya leaned forward and the camera angle was wider...................

[PegLeg45]

About the new avatar...Ya know if ya leaned forward and the camera angle was wider...................

Yeah, too bad you don't have 'pan-and-scan' capabilities on here or your blood pressure would be off the chart.......wouldn't it?

                         

[Hazcat]

Yeah, too bad you don't have 'pan-and-scan' capabilities on here or your blood pressure would be off the chart.......wouldn't it?

                         

A little high blood pressure it good for ya.  Cleans out the hoses.