Classic joke thread...

[shooter32]

Two Rednecks, Larry and Doug, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer.

Larry turns to Doug and says, 'You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow, I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes.'

Doug thinks it's a good idea and the two leave.

The next day, Larry goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, history, and Logic.

'Logic?' Larry says. 'What's that?'

The dean says, 'I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?'

'Yeah.'

'Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard.'

'That's true, I do have a yard.'

'I'm not done,' the dean says. 'Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house.'

'Yes, I do have a house.'

'And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family.' 'Yes, I have a family.

'I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife , then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual.'

'I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater.'

Excited to take the class now, Larry shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Doug at the bar. He tells Doug about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.

'Logic?' Doug says, 'What's that?'

Larry says, 'I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?'

'No.'

'Then you're a queer.'

[shooter32]

OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet!

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part
of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring
back a semen sample tomorrow.'

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and
gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's
like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried
with my left hand, but still nothing.'

'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with
her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth
in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.'

'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door, and she tried too, first
with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between
her knees, but still nothing.'

The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?'

The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open

[Teresa Heilevang]

The Postal Services created a stamp with a picture of President Obama.  The stamp was not sticking to envelopes. 
 
This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation.  After a month of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings: The stamp is in perfect order.  There is nothing wrong with the adhesive.  People are spitting on the wrong side.
 

[philw]

Trick Shot


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rEor8-dm58

[Hazcat]

Trick Shot


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rEor8-dm58

Phil we were doing that shot when I was 12 and I am 55 now!

[Sponsor]

[Teresa Heilevang]

((As by request of Tomboggan))

Do you really know your theology?

Who was the 3rd man in history to walk on water?
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The 1st one was Christ.
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The 2nd was the apostle Peter.
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Then there was this guy Jose...
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[ericire12]

4th was Obama

[Teresa Heilevang]

Just a thought.

Did  you ever think that President Obama signed his stimulus  package at the same desk where President Clinton got his  package stimulated?


(((I know........not a very lady like thought........... )))
Is there room in the corner?

[ericire12]

Is there room in the corner?

No girls allowed in the Man Cave!

[tombogan03884]

No girls allowed in the Man Cave!

We'll have to work on that, cuz you know Letty and Angie will wind up there eventually.