Classic joke thread...

[BCurry1]

How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?


(A buccaneer)

[Teresa Heilevang]

Fairy Tale:

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"
The girl said, "NO!"
And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer
and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

THE END

[Grizzle_Bear]

QUESTION:  Why do men fart more than women?

ANSWER: Because women don't keep their mouth's closed long enough to build up any pressure!



Grizzle Bear

[Teresa Heilevang]

Electile Dysfunction :
 The inability to become aroused over any of the choices for president put forth by either party in the 2008 election year.

[DesertRat66]

G. W. Bush and Bill Clinton somehow ended up at the same barbershop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.

The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Clinton in his chair reached for the after shave.

Clinton was quick to stop him saying, "No thanks, my wife Hillary will smell that and think I've been in a Brothel."

The second barber turned to Bush and said, "How about you?" Bush replied, "Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a Brothel smells like."

[Sponsor]

[cookie62]

This sign in a business window:




We would rather serve 1000 Al Qaeda than 1 American solder !!















It was in a funeral home window

[MikeBjerum]

[Teresa Heilevang]

GOVERNMENT HEALTH WARNING

DO NOT SWALLOW CHEWING-GUM!!

[scw78]

After 20 years as a gynecologist, the doctor decides to retire because he's bored wants to try something new.
He's always liked hot rods so he decides to go to school to become an auto mechanic.

When the time comes for his final exam, he completes the task and asks, "How did I do?"
The instructor says, "Fantastic, you scored 150%! 
The retired doctor replies, "150%, how did I do that?"

The instructor tells him:
 " I gave you 50% because you disassembled the engine perfectly"
"Then, I gave you 50% because you put it all back together exactly right, the engine ran, and you had no parts left over"
"And finally, I gave you an additional 50% because you did it all through the muffler!" 

[ellis4538]

scw78  great joke LMAO