Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1357615 times)

Pathfinder

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #170 on: February 27, 2008, 07:40:05 PM »
( I have to leave the computer for awhile and do domestic work)

Pathfinder...you STILL want my job?***  ;D


Well, not that part. But, if there is a French upstairs maid outfit involved, I might come watch.

And where do I get one of them frogs? I can cook.

 :o
"I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do this to others and I require the same from them"

J.B. Books

Marshal Halloway

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #171 on: February 27, 2008, 07:55:58 PM »

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house again went to the mailbox and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong?' To which she replied, 'There certainly is!' My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'

wisconsin

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #172 on: February 27, 2008, 08:39:50 PM »
I like that one ;D
" I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them."   John Wayne

Teresa Heilevang

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #173 on: February 27, 2008, 08:53:49 PM »
Now you all know the truth!

Marshal is the clean minded one and I am.......................well............................
what can I say?   ;)
"Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History ! "
 

cookie62

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #174 on: February 27, 2008, 09:23:55 PM »
Hey Marshal, It wasn't your neighbor that told you that one was it? ;D
A bird in the hand is worth..Well, about a box of shells!
Yes, I'm bitter and cling to guns and religion..

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #175 on: Today at 05:51:26 AM »

Hazcat

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #175 on: February 27, 2008, 09:31:56 PM »
Hey Marshal, It wasn't your neighbor that told you that one was it? ;D

IN COMING!!  :o :o :o
All tipoes and misspelings are copi-righted.  Pleeze do not reuse without ritten persimmons  :D

Teresa Heilevang

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #176 on: February 28, 2008, 12:10:37 AM »
Hey Marshal, It wasn't your neighbor that told you that one was it? ;D

Hey Cookie?!! ??


 

"Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History ! "
 

Teresa Heilevang

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #177 on: February 28, 2008, 12:27:17 AM »
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp.  He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie!

The genie said, "OK.  You released me from the lamp, blah, blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes.  So you can forget about getting three wishes.  You only get one wish.

The man sat down on the beach and thought about it for awhile.  Then he said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii; but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick.   Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so that I can drive over there to visit?"

The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible!  Think of the logistics of that!   How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific?  Think of how much concrete... how much steel...!  No. Think of another wish."

The man tried to think of another wish.  Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced several times.  My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive.  So I wish that I could understand women... know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment...know why they're crying...know what they really want when they say, 'Nothing'...know how to make them truly happy...."

The genie said, "You want that bridge two lanes or four?"

"Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History ! "
 

cookie62

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #178 on: February 28, 2008, 06:29:32 AM »
Hey Cookie?!! ??


 



What?!!!!!!!! Now thats not very nice. I wasn't implying anything ::)
A bird in the hand is worth..Well, about a box of shells!
Yes, I'm bitter and cling to guns and religion..

ellis4538

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #179 on: February 28, 2008, 09:06:17 AM »
Hey Marshal, how come you can do a blonde joke and not get reamed but anyone else incurres the Wrath of Marshal'ette?
Used to be "The only thing to FEAR was FEAR ITSELF", nowadays "The only thing to FEAR is GETTING CAUGHT!"

 

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