Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1201916 times)

J. Kennedy-ar154me

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5410 on: April 12, 2021, 01:15:15 PM »
A construction worker on the third floor of a building needs a handsaw. He sees one of the laborers on the first floor and yells down to him, but the man indicates that he can't hear. So, the guy on the third floor tries to use signs. He points to his eye, meaning, "I," then at his knee, meaning, "need," and he moves his hand back and forth, meaning, "handsaw." The man on the first floor nods, then drops his pants and begins to masturbate. The man on the third floor freaks out and runs down to the first floor yelling, ''What the hell is wrong with you!? Are you stupid or something? I was saying that I needed a handsaw!'' The laborer looks at the carpenter and says, ''I knew that. I was just trying to tell you that I was coming.'' :o :o :o
The time for action is upon us and the enemy is at our gates. Let us not allow them one more inch of advancement but instead throw them through the gates of Hell.

J. Kennedy-ar154me

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5411 on: April 12, 2021, 01:52:54 PM »
Sorry,,, I'll quit after this one!!!

Two women are discussing life in the retirement village they live in with their spouses and how they like it. One woman tells the other that she misses sex though to which the other replies that her and her hubby still have sex whenever she wants. The first woman asks how and the second woman says every so often when he's in the bathroom getting ready for bed she gets naked and lays on the bed holding her legs up in the air so when he comes out he can't help but have sex with her. The first woman decides to try this a couple of weeks later. Her husband is in the bathroom getting ready for bed so she gets naked, lays down and struggles to get one leg up and then the other as she's holding them shakily. Her husband comes out and exclaims, "Good Lord woman, put in your teeth and brush your hair....you're starting to look like an asshole!" ::) ::)
The time for action is upon us and the enemy is at our gates. Let us not allow them one more inch of advancement but instead throw them through the gates of Hell.

alfsauve

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5412 on: April 12, 2021, 02:00:26 PM »
<credit to Henny Youngman>

Good Jewish boy telephones is mother.
"Ma, how are you doing?"

"Not too well, son."
"Not well.  Ma, what's the matter?"

"I'm just feeling a little weak."
"A little weak.  Ma, do you know why?"

"I just haven't eaten in a while."
"You haven't eaten in a while?  How long has it been since you've eaten, Ma?"

"38 days."
"38 days!!!  Ma, why haven't you eaten in 38 days?"

"Well, I go start to eat and then I think God forbid I have my mouth full of food should my son call."
Will work for ammo
USAF MAC 437th MAW 1968-1972

sammy00

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5413 on: April 30, 2021, 06:42:44 AM »
A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!" A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.'" The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish at the local dam." The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, "I didn't know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way." He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds, "That's the spirit, Dad! Now pass the f*cking potatoes!"

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5414 on: May 04, 2021, 02:52:33 PM »
Some people are so stupid it's funny. Then there's another class of people who are so stupid that it's not even funny anymore. You decide which this idiot is.
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5415 on: Today at 09:04:42 PM »

billt

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5415 on: May 04, 2021, 04:05:30 PM »
This clown is the ultimate dick head when it comes to guns.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJmFEv6BHM0
A recent study has shown 1 out of 3 liberals are as stupid as the other 2.

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5416 on: Yesterday at 04:13:16 AM »
Last year I saw this symbol on a new issue of American Rifleman magazine I brought in that had some other mail on top of it. It looked like a ghost waving it's arms and I honestly didn't know what it was. When I picked up the magazine and turned it around so the picture was right side up, this was on the grip of a Taurus pistol. :-[


If you mill out your own Polymer 80, 80% AR-15 lowers, etc. with a Ghost Gunner, you can download free Ghost Writer engraving files for them. I saw this AR lower online and love it.

https://ghostwriter.serverrack.net/
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

 

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