Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1362434 times)

TAB

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5480 on: December 25, 2021, 07:11:30 PM »
I always break all the clay pigeons,  some times its even with lead.

PegLeg45

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5481 on: January 06, 2022, 08:35:37 AM »
 8)
"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

For the Patriots of this country, the Constitution is second only to the Bible for most. For those who love this country, but do not share my personal beliefs, it is their Bible. To them nothing comes before the Constitution of these United States of America. For this we are all labeled potential terrorists. ~ Dean Garrison

"When it comes to the enemy, just because they ain't pullin' a trigger, doesn't mean they ain't totin' ammo for those that are."~PegLeg

TAB

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5482 on: January 20, 2022, 06:29:18 PM »
I always break all the clay pigeons,  some times its even with lead.

tombogan03884

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5483 on: January 21, 2022, 07:48:52 AM »
8)


I'm compensating for a big mouth, not a little dick.    ;D

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5484 on: March 27, 2022, 01:36:51 AM »

Two of my dad's brothers lived on the family farm their entire lives.

Uncle L____ raised chickens.

Uncle K____ lowered them.

He just wasn't right after the war.
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5485 on: Today at 12:39:01 AM »

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5485 on: May 02, 2022, 09:11:58 PM »
South Park made 2 Post Covid TV movies for the Paramount+ streaming service. There's South Park: Post Covid and South Park: Post Covid: The Return of Covid. I didn't see either one yet but saw pictures from them at IMDb.com. There was a picture of the whole town quarantined that got me started thinking about Escape from New York, so I copied the picture and started tinkering with it. I cut a logo from a picture of one of the versions of Escape from New York advertised online (DVD?), rotated it a degree or two by tenths, re-cropped and resized it, plastered it on the South Park sign, changed the background color, a pixel at a time when needed, to a 90% tint of black, et voila. Then I cropped a full height square dead center, and whittled it down bit by bit to a size that would be visible in my avatar du jour.
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5486 on: May 02, 2022, 10:42:23 PM »
If anyone wants to steal that big ol' "Escape from COVID-19" pic go for it. As for me I'm fixing up some MAC and cheese. And before you judge someone remember, you haven't walked a mile in their shoes. Their incredibly stupid looking shoes that should never be seen north of the border, if anywhere at all.
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

TAB

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5487 on: May 08, 2022, 12:18:21 PM »
In honor of mothers day....


What my favorite ward in the hospital?


The maternity ward, you know those women put out.



Yeah,yeah I know, I am never getting out of the corner anyways.
I always break all the clay pigeons,  some times its even with lead.

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5488 on: May 14, 2022, 02:52:36 PM »
In honor of mothers day....


What my favorite ward in the hospital?


The maternity ward, you know those women put out.



Yeah,yeah I know, I am never getting out of the corner anyways.

I used to cruise Lamaze classes for single moms.  ;)  Save a seat for me TAB. I'll see you soon.
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5489 on: May 14, 2022, 08:51:14 PM »
Just a friendly reminder that Saturdays are for the #FJB chants. This message was brought to you by #LetsGoBrandon.

I bought 2 FJB Auto Metal Badges from Milspin but haven't put them on the SUV yet. They're heavy-duty die cast metal with 3M All Weather 2-sided adhesive on them. There are many other Yukons on the road but I may soon be driving the only Denali FJB Edition around here. It rained this evening so I should have a relatively clean surface to work with. And with the temperature being in the 80s day after day I don't have to worry about the adhesive not being sticky enough. I just need to try to line them up straight, peel the backing off, and stick them on. I'm planning on the same general location as in these pics but will make my final determination later.

https://milspin.com/collections/novelty/products/fjb-auto-metal-decal
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

 

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