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Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1364558 times)

PegLeg45

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5810 on: March 14, 2024, 05:49:27 PM »
 :o
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"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

For the Patriots of this country, the Constitution is second only to the Bible for most. For those who love this country, but do not share my personal beliefs, it is their Bible. To them nothing comes before the Constitution of these United States of America. For this we are all labeled potential terrorists. ~ Dean Garrison

"When it comes to the enemy, just because they ain't pullin' a trigger, doesn't mean they ain't totin' ammo for those that are."~PegLeg

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5811 on: March 14, 2024, 06:23:30 PM »
At least you know HIS day is getting better.
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

PegLeg45

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5812 on: March 15, 2024, 12:22:46 PM »
Quote from: Big Frank on March 14, 2024, 06:23:30 PM
At least you know HIS day is getting better.
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"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

For the Patriots of this country, the Constitution is second only to the Bible for most. For those who love this country, but do not share my personal beliefs, it is their Bible. To them nothing comes before the Constitution of these United States of America. For this we are all labeled potential terrorists. ~ Dean Garrison

"When it comes to the enemy, just because they ain't pullin' a trigger, doesn't mean they ain't totin' ammo for those that are."~PegLeg

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5813 on: March 15, 2024, 08:30:07 PM »
They're always after my Lucky Charms.
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

TAB

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5814 on: March 15, 2024, 08:44:37 PM »
Quote from: PegLeg45 on March 14, 2024, 05:49:27 PM
:o

Story time....

Years ago I was a best man.  I had to throw a Batchelor party.

So I get thus great idea to inflate blow up dolls with helium... than tye them to bumpers of those in the party.

We started out in South Lake Tahoe and ended up in Vegas.  To this day no one knows how or when we got there.

I do know every one had a blast and we to this day only get bits and pieces from every one that went.   No one remembers  the whole thing.
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I always break all the clay pigeons,  some times its even with lead.

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5815 on: Today at 11:35:53 PM »
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Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5815 on: March 16, 2024, 02:03:20 PM »
The problem with being the best man is, you never get a chance to prove it.  ;D
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

TAB

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5816 on: March 16, 2024, 06:23:21 PM »
He was marrying  a piece of trash.  Every one knew it but him.   It lasted about a year.   She became pregnant, only he could not have kids as he lost his testicle in a dirt bike accident  at 18.( I was there it was ugly.)  She went after him  of corse, but his medical records  shut that down pretty quick.  He still lost ~200k.  Rough lesson to learn that is for sure.  The party was pretty darn epic from the bits I can remember, it gets even better from what other can remember. 
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I always break all the clay pigeons,  some times its even with lead.

Rastus

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5817 on: March 16, 2024, 07:05:05 PM »
Quote from: TAB on March 16, 2024, 06:23:21 PM
He was marrying  a piece of trash.  Every one knew it but him.   It lasted about a year.   She became pregnant, only he could not have kids as he lost his testicle in a dirt bike accident  at 18.( I was there it was ugly.)  She went after him  of corse, but his medical records  shut that down pretty quick.  He still lost ~200k.  Rough lesson to learn that is for sure.  The party was pretty darn epic from the bits I can remember, it gets even better from what other can remember.

That is terrible. 
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Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5818 on: March 17, 2024, 04:14:56 PM »
Quote from: Rastus on March 16, 2024, 07:05:05 PM
That is terrible.

I agree. That's a lot of money to lose to a bitch that didn't deserve one cent. Not to mention how painful the motorcycle accident must have been.
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Jim Kennedy-ar154me

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5819 on: March 18, 2024, 09:39:35 AM »
Trying to post joke. I hope this works.
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