Classic joke thread...

[TAB]

I wish he had just knocked in the head and drug him out by his heels. 

Phuck Hamas & Palestine.  By the way, Hamas is amazed that Israel said Phuck Biden and is bombing the $hit out of Rafah.  And that dumbshit geriatric has people on his staff that want to bring more of that $hit over here in the form of refugees.

Even the Muslim countries  don't want them.   That should say everything  you need to know about that area

[PegLeg45]

Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.
So, I went to a shrink and told him: “I've got problems. Every time I go to bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.”
"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink, "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.”
“How much do you charge?”
“One hundred fifty dollars per visit,” replied the doctor.
“I'll sleep on it,” I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street.
“Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?” He asked.
“Well, $150 a visit, three times a week for a year, is $23,400.00. A preacher cured me for free. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought a new car.”
“Is that so?” With a bit of an attitude he said, “and how, may I ask, did a preacher cure you?”
“He told me to cut the legs off the bed."

[MikeBjerum]

Saturday evening we went to a nice steakhouse for dinner to celebrate Mother's Day. Following dinner we were waiting for Valet to bring our car when a Maserati pulled up. Vanity plates, and son-in-law and I are working the letters:

FIRJOEB

I imagine that if you can drive a $280K 2024 GRANTURISMO TROFEO AWD, the price of a vanity plate to express your political view isn't an issue.

[Big Frank]

Today I was wearing my FJB sunglasses when I drove my SUV with 2 metal FJB auto badges on it to the Polaris dealer, towing my ATV that has 2 FJB stickers on it, one on each side. I let my opinion be known. One of the guys said he liked my sunglasses and asked where his were. I told him I didn't have any spare pairs. We all agreed Stumblin' Joe has got to go.

[TAB]

What did 1 saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?


If we don't get some support here soon people are going to think we are nuts.

[Sponsor]

[PegLeg45]

[MikeBjerum]

An American Indian was ready to leave the blood drive site, when the nurse asked how he was doing. He told her he felt fine and asked if he could leave. She said sure, but I'm curious, are you full blooded Indian? He replied, he was. She said really, what percent? He told her about 90%. What is the other 10%, to which he replied mostly orange juice and cookies.

[Big Frank]

An American Indian was ready to leave the blood drive site, when the nurse asked how he was doing. He told her he felt fine and asked if he could leave. She said sure, but I'm curious, are you full blooded Indian? He replied, he was. She said really, what percent? He told her about 90%. What is the other 10%, to which he replied mostly orange juice and cookies.

I still prefer the way the Deutsches Rotes Kreuz, Croix Rouge Allemande, German Red Cross did it. They take out 1 pint of blood and replace it with 1.06 pints of German beer, give you a grilled bratwurst on a bun, and I even got a souvenir stein, which I'll be mailing to my old friend, Sarge this week. The Germans take some of that nasty old blood out of your alcohol system, and help you get it back to a normal balance.   And you will feel it drinking just 1/2 liter of beer when you're a pint low. Especially when the local beers are up to 7.5% alcohol. One bottle of that has more alcohol than 2 12 ounce cans of 5% beer. They gave me juice and cookies when I gave blood at work in Grand Blanc, and it sucked. I felt very ill both times and never donated again. When someone remarks about how pale white you look, instead of your normal color, that's bad.