Author Topic: What's the last thing you ate or are currently eating?  (Read 109642 times)

Big Frank

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Re: What's the last thing you ate or are currently eating?
« Reply #960 on: May 04, 2021, 04:12:20 PM »
Warning! This post is about spoiled food!
Read at your own discretion.

When my old fridge quit I had 2 dozen eggs to get rid of. They were already going bad before the fridge quit because I bought 5 dozen on sale, but after eating 3 dozen got tired of them. And the fridge was getting warmer and warmer before it finally quit. You know the old saying, "You've got to break a few eggs to make an omelet"? Well, not if they're so spoiled they break by themselves. Instead of flushing the eggs down the toilet, my version of a garbage disposal, I decided to cook them and put them out for the critters. I put some oil in the cold skillet and started cracking. When I put the first 3 eggs in the pan I had to quit. One was so badly liquefied it didn't even have a yolk, and one was so fragile I barely got it from the carton next to the pan over the pan before my fingers went through it. The smell was so bad I lit 5 3-wick jar candles and placed them around the kitchen and dining room, and it worked about as well as spraying cologne on a skunks @$$. Then I grabbed one of my COVID masks, went in the bathroom and got some Vick's VapoRub from the antique blue glass jar, smeared it on the mask and put it on. Much better! Supposedly it works when dissecting cadavers too, but I've never done that.

Then I went back in the kitchen and cracked the rest of the eggs into the pan which filled it nearly to the rim. I popped whatever yolks were still intact and stirred it up. Then I added all of the fast food salt and pepper packets from the cupboard and stirred that in too to try to hide the taste. I put the lid from an aluminum pot I used to have on it, and there were so many eggs the edge of lid was setting in it. Then I turned the stove on low and went upstairs to fold laundry or something. When I remembered to come down and see how it was doing, the eggs had fluffed up and lifted the lid right off the pan. They were very moist but looked like they were cooked. I started chopping it up with the spatula and was getting ready to scoop it out when I had an idea. I ran the spatula all the way around the pan and it wasn't stuck anywhere, so I turned it out onto a piece of cardboard. One piece shaped like Florida minus the panhandle stuck to the pan, but may not have if I didn't chop it all up first.

So I took this 10" diameter 24 egg omelet outside for the critters. It had some pieces of shell in it that you can see, but almost looked good enough to eat. And something did gnaw away at it every day. Probably just the stupid cats that think they live here. I thought if they eat here, maybe they'll go somewhere else to poop. My dad did that with a dog that was pooping in his yard all the time and it worked great. It seemed to work well with the cats too. If they got sick, went away and never came back, that would have been even better. They wouldn't be on my porch howling anymore, or peeing on everything within range. Anyway, after a few days when it was really cold outside, the half an omelet that was left was frozen so I put on a pair of gloves and broke it into chunks. It got eaten up within a couple of days after that. And that's the story of the 24 (spoiled) egg omelet. I regret reducing the pictures so much, and that's all I have.
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Re: What's the last thing you ate or are currently eating?
« Reply #961 on: Yesterday at 02:01:20 PM »
Homemade pizza using a two-ingredient crust recipe I found on youtube.

Crust is made with self-rising flour and plain Greek yogurt.
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Re: What's the last thing you ate or are currently eating?
« Reply #962 on: Today at 05:15:19 AM »
It’s a pizza. I think God personally created it. I’m always ready to eat it on breakfast, lunch and dinner. My ideal pizza is: a thin base for pizza made according to an Italian dough recipe; garlic cream sauce; thin slices of ham, tomato, mozzarella, pesto sauce, and arugula on top. I really like this version of pizza, or similar. The main thing is to have a thin dough and cream sauce. Then it's perfect for me. Because I was describing my perfect pizza, I already wanted to eat.


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