A prostitute had her appendix removed, and the surgeon closed the wrong hole. Now she's making money on the side.
Another prostitute was told by her doctor to give her vagina time to recuperate. Now she's making money hand over fist.
What do you call a prostitute in Utqiagvik, Alaska? A frostitute.
My fried Dave asked a prostitute: How much for a blowjob?
Prostitute: Ummm, $20.
Dave: Wow! It was $100 for my friend. I guess I am your favorite.
Prostitute: No, I charge $10 per inch.
One day, a prostitute went to file her taxes, and for her occupation, she put down "prostitution."
The tax man explained that prostitution was an illegal occupation.
She said she'd have to go home and think about it, and that she'd call him back in a hour with her occupation.
An hour later, she called him and said, "I've got it... I'm a chicken farmer."
He said, "How do you get to "chicken farmer" from prostitution."
She said, "I raised over a thousand cocks last year."
A man was walking down the street and this prostitute asked him, "Say, wanna have a good time?"
"Sure," he said, and they went to the nearest motel.
She took off her clothes and he just kept staring at her.
She said, "Is this the first vagina you've seen since you crawled out of one?"
The guy said, "Nope, just the first one I've seen big enough to crawl back into!"
Q: Whats the difference between a prostitute and a Kit Kat?
A: You only get 4 fingers in a Kit Kat!
A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped.
"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a prostitute and I charge $20 for sex." The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.
After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.
"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25!"
Q: What do you call kids born in a house of ill repute?
A: Brothel sprouts.
Q: What do bungee jumping and prostitutes have in common?
A: They both cost a hundred bucks, and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.
Q: What's the difference between an epileptic oyster fisherman, and a prostitute with diarrhea?
A: One
shucks between
fits.
Q: What do you tell a prostitute with 2 black eyes?
A: Nothing. You've already told her twice!
Q: What do you call a prostitute with no legs?
A: A night-crawler!
Q: What's the differece between your job and a dead prostitute?
A: Your job still sucks!
Q: What's the difference between Jell-o and a dead prostitute?
A: Jell-o wiggles when you eat it!
Q: What's the difference between a Corvette and a dead prostitute?
A: I don't have a Corvette in my garage!
Q: If a new prostitute uses Vaseline, what does an old prostitute use?
A: Polygrip!
Q: Why do politicians never conduct business on the same street where a prostitute is working?
A: Professional courtesy!
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