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Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1423429 times)

alfsauve

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6060 on: May 10, 2025, 10:23:15 AM »
"It's 4,808 miles to the Vatican City, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of communion wafers, it's dark, and we're wearing Papal robes."
"Hit it."


Want to guess what the next Popemobile will look like?
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alfsauve

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6061 on: May 10, 2025, 10:24:12 AM »
Trump's tariffs meant we had to make the next Pope here in America.
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alfsauve

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6062 on: May 10, 2025, 10:24:43 AM »
“I try not to fly into Newark International Airport, because the worst-case scenario is that you could crash because of an air traffic control issue, and the second worst-case scenario is that you could land at Newark.” - Jim Geraghty
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crusader rabbit

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6063 on: May 10, 2025, 01:01:10 PM »
When a wife walks into a room and says, "Honey, we've got to talk," his first thought is, "Oh my gosh, what did I do now?"

When a husband walks into a room and says, "Honey, we've got to talk," her first thought is, "Oh my gosh, what has he done now?"

Crusader Rabbit
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“I’ve lived the literal meaning of the ‘land of the free’ and ‘home of the brave.’ It’s not corny for me. I feel it in my heart. I feel it in my chest. Even at a ball game, when someone talks during the anthem or doesn’t take off his hat, it pisses me off. I’m not one to be quiet about it, either.”  Chris Kyle

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6064 on: May 11, 2025, 03:48:13 AM »
Quote from: alfsauve on May 10, 2025, 10:18:48 AM
Deep dish communion wafers are now an option

If they come with extra cheese I'm converting to Catholicism. :P
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6065 on: Today at 07:28:15 AM »
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Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6065 on: May 12, 2025, 11:54:34 PM »
"Just the Way You Are" is a song by Billy Joel from his fifth studio album The Stranger (1977), released as the album's second single in early November 1977. It was written for his first wife (and also his business manager at the time) Elizabeth Weber.  He divorced her in 1982, and married supermodel Christie Brinkley in 1985. I guess he DIDN'T love his first wife just the way she was.  :-\ 
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

billt

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6066 on: May 14, 2025, 05:12:12 AM »
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Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6067 on: May 14, 2025, 06:05:34 AM »
 ;D ;D ;D Funny AH!
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Jim Kennedy-ar154me

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6068 on: May 14, 2025, 10:45:01 AM »
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The time for action is upon us and the enemy is at our gates. Let us not allow them one more inch of advancement but instead throw them through the gates of Hell.

TAB

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6069 on: May 15, 2025, 07:06:01 AM »
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I always break all the clay pigeons,  some times its even with lead.
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